On Letting Go
Letting Go is often a difficult topic to address during coaching. Many people want to let go and many don’t think its an option. For a few it’s a “yes but “ situation ,an easy way for a coach to tell that they are not really ready to let go at all.
Some will consider giving up the trivial things first , things they feel would indicate a willingness to let go , without the separation anxiety of giving up something bigger.
Small steps are always better than no steps, that’s for sure.
In my experience many people tend to react to letting go of something as if they were a wee child and their favourite toy was taken. They crave it and think about it often to the point of desperation and then lo-and-behold they are right back where they started, with a bit of added guilt to boot.
Letting go has a deep emotional barrier attached to it for sure. Whether you are letting go of a bad habit, a negative trait, a toxic romantic relationship or a grudge or pain from a past interaction with someone you cared about.
So we go through life dragging the things that can not serve our happy self behind us, like a fishing trawler with a net full of vehicle registration plates, plastic bags, tubs and other trash. These things are poisonous to all the good things we’ve caught in our life net and their ugliness prevents us from seeing the beauty all round.
Most people, myself included , will need the support of a coach to bring about lasting change when letting go of the big stuff. Yet there are simple steps that anyone can take today to start to move them along the right path to be able to ‘Let Go like a Pro!’
Firstly , you have to truly acknowledge the things that do not serve you and make a list.
Secondly, for each one make another list of the IDEAL situations regarding the above ,that would make you very very happy. For example, if you wanted to give up smoking , write something like ‘I am now 5years nicotine free and have saved a lot of money since I quit smoking’
Thirdly, take each of the IDEAL statements and for a month choose daily, at least one to work through , ( either first thing in the morning or last thing at night ) as follows:
Imagine you have a time machine and you can arrive at one of the ideal situations having been already achieved.
Imagine you are actually experiencing it. Take in all the sights, sounds, smells and feelings you can imagine having at that point. Let all these physical sensations flow through you repeatedly , like waves on the sand. Repeat this several times , adding more detail each time. Imagine walking and talking as this new version of you. Notice how you are doing things differently.
Finally, turn to your notebook and place on a fresh page the IDEAL situation as a heading. Below this write down all of the detail of your experience ,and how it made you feel.
The intention here is to place your focus on what you actually want, and to make it so enticing that you feel that it is totally possible, and the ways to achieve it become more obvious and actionable.
At the same time your sub conscious mind is being trained to recognise what it would look, sound and feel like to be that version of you and as many a professional athlete will tell you this mental rehearsal can supercharge the mastery of their skill.
in one short month you can begin to clear out your net and feast on the beauty in your life.
Have fun, be happy, let go.